Some views.

This would be our view from the balcony:


This would be our view from the shot glasses*:


*Photos courtesy of my sister. Those shot glasses may very well be hers and are subject to not being in the actual condo.

Would you like some Christ with that?

"The [Myrtle Beach] culture has become so immune to the gospel, that they are unaware that it has the power to change lives and satisfy hearts."

What I gathered from watching this, is that in 2002 hundreds of teenagers with Campus Crusade for Christ infiltrated MB's Old Navy, Chick-Fil-A, Banana Republic and Sunglass Hut franchises (which served as their "mission field") to spread the good word. I had no idea this sort of thing was going on, and I feel really sorry for all the people who had their baked potatoes with sour cream tainted with jesus cooties.

"I work for a radio network that is less popular than jousting."

300,000 visitors per year. With a budget millions of dollars larger than NPR.

How do I know that? Because two of my favorite things magically came together as an episode of This American Life. From "Simulated Worlds:"

Act Three. Medieval Times. Ira takes a Medieval scholar from the University of Chicago, Michael Camille, to Medieval Times – a chain of fake castles where visitors eat Medieval food and drink Medieval Pepsi and watch a supposed recreation of a Medieval jousting tournament. The scholar finds that there are many historical inaccuracies, but that Medieval Times does capture something essential and interesting about the spirit of the Middle Ages.

I highly recommend listening to this if you care to playfully intellectualize the experience (vs. pretentiously over-analyzing it like this asshole from Slate). I would also recommend watching the film Cable Guy, which features an excellent and long scene that takes place at an actual(!) Medieval Times.


Or you can just ask me about it because I've been twice.

Twist of Fate

I saw pregnant Lauren Ambrose today! And then I cared like an asshole.

On the bright side, I remembered something. Lauren Ambrose was in an independent film that took place in Myrtle Beach! Oh, and it's so cute because it's before she got all skinny and before she got pregnant. The stars were totally aligned for this blog entry.


I really enjoyed this film, and not just because I could relate to the plot:

"It's the start of another Carolina summer, and it's becoming increasingly clear to Frankie Wheeler, a young local, that she wants more out of life than Myrtle Beach can offer."

See now, I don't remember her character ever going to Medieval Times or the Dixie Stampede, so in retrospect, I just don't think that she was trying hard enough.

Early Orientation

The green dots are where we'll get wicked fucked up!

"So, if you want to wallow in beachfront Americana, there are few better places to head."

"Standing at the center of the Grand Strand, Myrtle Beach (pop. 32,000) is one of the largest and most popular beach resorts in the country, attracting some 13 million visitors every year. It’s a huge place, with mile after mile of motels, Wal-Marts, and fast-food franchises lining all the main roads. Long famous for its golf courses (and for having the world’s biggest collection of miniature golf courses), in recent years Myrtle Beach has refashioned itself as a coastal version of Branson, Missouri, with numerous new theaters offering everything from medieval pageants to a mini Grand Old Opry.

So, if you want to wallow in beachfront Americana, there are few better places to head."

Welcome to my anticipatory Myrtle Beach 2007 Trip blog. If you're reading this at all, you've probably been invited and there's a good chance that I'm living in your apartment right now. Or you might have amazing pecs and be living in Germany.

The reason that I want to go back to this miserable place is because (at the time) I was a very cranky teenager and never really appreciated all of the amazing crappy stuff that there is to do there. When I turned 16, my mom took me to Medieval Times and I didn't even have an awesome medieval time! I was so lame. And I want to make up for it. And you have to get to make up for it with me! So check back once in a while because there'll be totally awesome pics and links and stories for you to see so you'll know how great it's going to be! Yeah!